


Pretentions

by shejustwantstowrite



Series: All These Shades of Blue [5]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Bisexual Female Character, But here it is now, F/F, I never continued it until now, I started writing this freshman in college, Light Angst, i might continue this, in love with her best friend
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-03
Updated: 2018-08-03
Packaged: 2019-06-21 03:37:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,181
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15548727
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shejustwantstowrite/pseuds/shejustwantstowrite
Summary: Claire lied when she said she has one secret—she had two.One: she was bisexual.Two: she was head over heels in love with Patricia Montemayor, her best friend.





	Pretentions

**Author's Note:**

> 5/5  
> As I said in the tags, I might continue this in the future.

Claire glanced around the ballroom, looking for her best friend Patricia. That night was their graduation ball—a last night before they go off to college. She wanted to spend the night having fun with her best friend. If only Claire could find her.

 

Claire sighed. Knowing her best friend’s overly protective and religious parents, she’s out there in the parking lot, receiving last-minute reminders and warnings. So, Claire settled for waiting for Patricia in one of the bleachers.

 

Patricia and Claire had been best friends since first grade. They were inseparable, sharing everything—from toys, clothes, food, and secrets. They knew each other from head to toe and inside out.

 

Or so Claire wanted to think.

 

Because there was one secret she could never share with Patricia. A secret that no one except her twin brother, Martin, knew.

 

You see, Claire Atienza was a flaming bisexual.

 

It was really not dramatic, her revelation. It was just a matter of confirming her hunch a long time ago—she swung both ways. Luckily, there were no confusion or self-hatred on her part and that her twin accepted her for who she was so openly. She knew how lucky she was because of that.

 

“Claire!” she heard her best friend call her. Patricia comes over and hugs her, smelling like soft roses, calming her heart and mind.

 

“Hey, Patch. What took you so long?” Claire asked, ignoring her best friend’s complaints because of the nickname. She came up with it when they were in fifth grade.

 

“Oh, as usual. Last minute reminders from Mom and Dad,” Patricia groaned as she pulled away. She then looked at Claire and smiled softly.

 

“You look so pretty, Claire,” she said.

 

Claire’s mind stuttered through different responses before saying a soft “Thanks. You do, too.” to her best friend. She hoped that her blush would be concealed by the dark.

 

“But your brother looks  _ pretty _ hot, too. I wish he wasn’t crazy for that Elisse girl,” Patricia added, looking at Martin as he gawked at Elisse Cruz, another classmate, with huge heart eyes. As if sensing that someone was staring at him, he looked right at us and then winked. Patricia squealed.

 

_ Why is my twin brother such a jerk? _

 

“Don’t you dare hit on my brother! My  _ twin _ brother!” Claire complained. Patricia just laughed and stuck her tongue out.

 

As they laughed together, Claire thought—

 

_ I don’t have  _ one  _ secret. _

 

Claire lied when she said she has  _ one _ secret—she had two.

 

One: she was bisexual.

Two: she was head over heels in love with Patricia Montemayor, her best friend.

 

She didn’t even know she was in love until Martin pointed it out to her, one night back in freshman year.

 

“You love her,” Martin said then, interrupting her little speech about Patricia’s latest slam poetry piece and a rant about the dumbass that tried to hit on her best friend.

 

“Uh, duh? Of course I love her, she’s my best friend!” she exclaimed, feeling very confused.

 

“ _ In love  _ with her, dummy! I’ve endured so many rants like this for the past three years, why are you so dense, Clarita?” Martin fired back. Claire hit him with a pillow at the nickname but stayed silent as she pondered her twin’s words.

 

But then it dawned on her.

 

“In love. With Patricia. Oh. Yeah.”

 

Martin just shot her an exasperated and long-suffering stare.

 

That knowledge made things easier and harder for Claire.

 

Easier because there were no confusions anymore. Harder because she knew that her feelings wouldn’t go anywhere. But what could she do? Love is blind.

 

For the longest time, she wanted to tell Patricia everything— her feelings and who she really was— but she couldn’t. Claire was afraid that Patricia would be disgusted. That she would be afraid. That her best friend would never talk to her anymore.

 

And Claire would never want that to happen.

 

So there she was, loving her best friend at a distance, playing the role of the good best friend. Enduring the stories of the guys Patricia liked, her past boyfriends. She tried not to get jealous of those boys that ever touched Patricia, but it’s hard. When all Claire really wanted was to tell Patricia that she loved her and to hold her hand and to be with her forever.

 

But Claire’s not dumb—she knew that’s never going to happen. One: Patricia‘s parents were extremely religious. Two: her best friend was straight as a ruler. 

 

And the worst of all: she would never see Claire as someone more than a best friend. That knowledge stopped her from ever confessing to Patricia.

 

But Claire figured being her best friend is better than nothing. However, being Patricia’s best friend was also worse than nothing because Claire couldn’t help but want more.

 

Sometimes, Claire can’t help but think that maybe, she should just find someone else. Somebody less complicated. Somebody that really loved her. Because that’s all people want, right? To love and be loved in return. And Claire wasn’t sure that she would be able to have that with Patricia.

 

But then she realized that— _ I haven’t even looked at someone else all this time. It was only Patricia, then and now. _

 

_ And maybe, even for the rest of her life. _

 

And everytime Patricia gave some semblance of a sign, hope blossomed in her chest. That maybe...she was not alone in this. Oh, how much she hoped.

 

Why did it have to be so hard?

 

She was wrenched out of her reverie when Patricia spoke again. “Claire, I’ll just get us some punch, okay?” Claire nodded and watched as Patricia walked to the punch table.

 

As soon as he saw that Patricia’s gone, Martin swooped in. Claire cut him off before he could even open his mouth.

 

“I know what you’re going to say. Don’t go there, Martin. We’ve talked about this. Just…” Claire said, looking at her twin tiredly, “give me some more time, okay? This isn’t easy.”

 

Martin sighed. “I know it isn’t easy, Clarita. But remember that you’re gonna go to separate schools after this. You’ve got to seize the moment, sis. Yes, there would be many risks and consequences but at least you’ve got your feelings out there and. Wouldn’t it be easier for you to finally be fully yourself in front of your best friend? No more secrets. No more hidden feelings. No more pretending. Just think about it, sis,” he said. 

 

Claire nodded and lightly punched her twin’s shoulder. “Yeah, I get what you mean. I just need more courage, I guess,”  she sighed, then took a deep breath. “Thanks for everything, Martin. I would’ve gone nuts without you.”

 

Martin shrugged and said, “Yeah, yeah. I would’ve gone nuts with you, y’know. Twin siblings telepathy, right?” They laughed at the old time joke.

 

“Yeah, yeah. Go now. You should confess to Elisse, too!” Claire urged, happy to change the subject. Martin just glared at her before he trudged off.

 

Claire swore to herself that before the night ended, she would tell Patricia everything.

**Author's Note:**

> [let's be friends](https://www.twitter.com/shewritesfics)


End file.
